look in the mirror

you are merely a visitor occupying the space in my heart helping me to prepare to really love again and now that i realize you are just like the rest i have to acknowledge the lessons you were brought here teach me. your eyes reflect the rays of the sun and yet there is darkness that lies behind them so dark you wont even turn on the light to face them. how do i begin to trust a liar. a person that hides their wounds from themselves essentially looking in the mirror and lying to their self everyday so how can i expect truth to escape your lips when truth does not live within you. if you cant speak the truth to yourself then your heart you will never speak it to the world. you said the only reason i chose you was bc she left me. truth be told you are right. she was the walking truth, which captivated me. there is nothing stronger and more powerful than a woman that will speak both her truth and see the truth around her. nothing more beautiful than honesty. there was a purity about her and the same with the next that you will never have until you can look in that mirror and face that darkness inside of you. i understand hiding. i have hidden my truth from the world all my life but not once was i so afraid of my truth that i could not look myself in the eye and speak it to myself. my truth cuts me to my core and yet it is mine. it symbolizes my strength. my journey has been so dreadful because of the bags shackled to my ankles and yet you expect me to drag your bags too? pulling a veil over my eyes pretending to have all your pieces intact while you lie in pieces on the floor. you are a lost soul. mending your soul to mine because you see my strength and know i can endure all but this time i wont. i am too busy to stich up the wounds you have. i am still healing my own. you know this already and yet you still rip the bandages from my open wounds and pour salt into them. you are right you are not her and will never be. you are you and the you you are is not the you i need you to be. you are keeping me stagnant. i am not moving forward in my healing. you are reopening wounds and i will not sit back and watch while you ravish me. i can look myself in the mirror. i see where i have come from reflecting behind me and i know it is behind me for a reason. i will not turn back, not for you or anyone. we cannot continue. i cannot continue with you. you are broken. and i cannot try to fix you, i dont have the energy. you have to want to fix yourself. you are not there. you prefer to smother that crying child within you and i am letting mine cry and breathe and grow. i want to stay because i know i can help you. i know you need me. i want to stay because i have been where you are. i have to go because i love me more than i will ever love you. im sorry to you for that. im sorry that i am not strong enough to hold your hand while you go through this but i am not. i cant even hold myself upright some days and cannot imagine trying to help you. you lie to me daily. i understand why. you lie because you want those lies to be true yet lies they remain. you are a beautiful woman and your spirit is golden. your beauty hurts my eyes because i know what lies beneath that surface is dark and wounded. stop hiding. learn to be you and not who you wish you were. your authentic self is worth being seen. come out. look in the mirror. speak your truth.