beautiful

beautiful a complimentary word that is used to let someone know they are pleasing to you aesthetically a word that has been used as a weapon against me since i can remember my first memory for this word is just before my cousin took my childhood innocence he whispered in my ear "You are beautiful" this soon became an everyday ritual so quickly beautiful was so ugly my mom wondered why i did not use my imagination my imagination was consumed with the truths of my reality only dreaming of a brighter future a time when i am not a toy i told you i hated to be called beautiful you said there was no other way to describe me that soon changed when I became a bitch, cunt, liar because beautiful equated ugly to me it was not until last year this time that i could look in the mirror and not see my flesh torn inside out finally seeing the moonbeams shining through my eyes i could finally see me without cuts, scars and bruises my tarnished soul had been polished