#3

third times a charm right?
i have heard this so many times in life and yet when i am looking an that door number three, the locks have changed on me. i saw this coming and yet i could not resist the truth. the truth i have whispered in your ear many nights past and never could i look you in the eyes and say it loudly enough for you to hear it. i hope you felt it at some point or another. looked into my eyes and they spoke my soul. often times my words fail me and yet my eyes never lie. they tell you my passions and pain. when i met you i freaked out four days in. i knew you would change everything for me. finally my path lined up with someone else's. maybe i wouldn't have to walk through my life alone. hiding behind shadows of my walls now crumbled i observed your every move. from each step you take all the way to the way your lips pop when you pop your p's, you bring me to my knees with the gentle stroke of your hand. i wish i could make you understand how much i wanted to share my life with you.

my heart was iced over, pain inflicted and with your embrace, it melted away. you opened my eyes to new possibilities. i let my thoughts cloud my judgement and bring in doubt when it was not warranted. i regret being open with you about my thoughts before thinking them through because if i had thought them out completely, i wouldn't be here. i told you not to doubt my want for you. i just needed a day or two. all i wanted to do was ask you to be mine. i had a grand plan to surprise you. this time i wanted it to be me asking the question. opportunity missed and another day has passed without you. i dont think i will ever understand this.